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When I was growing up with five siblings our parents taught us good table manners. While there was never a posted list of rules, we understood them as follows:

1. Say "please" and "thank you."

2. Don't take more than you can eat.

3. Eat everything you put on your plate.

4. Don't complain about the food. If you don't like what you're served you can go hungry.

5. Don't be a "hibble." That was Mom's Low German word for a whiney fussbudget.

6. No belching (or related emissions) at the table.

7. Don't bug your brothers and sisters.

8. Don't talk with your mouth full.

These rules served me well later in life and when I discovered there were even more rules I simply observed those around me to determine what to do in fancy places.

Imagine this old country boy and his wife at a Rotary Club party an expensive country club a few weeks ago. The "entertainment" for the evening was a business etiquette coach explaining all the rules of "dining like a diplomat."

I was rather ill at ease until I noticed that most of the folks sitting around me didn't know all the fancy rules either.

Before the soup course was served we learned the art of eating soup in a mannerly fashion: spoon dipped and moved toward the table, then back over the bowl (to allow it to cool) and to your mouth. Small amounts. No slurping.

The salad course was easier but we learned that when finished with the salad we should place the fork and knife on the empty plate in a 10/4 o'clock position to indicate to the wait staff that we are done. I always figured when the salad plate was empty I was done and the wait staff would readily see that, but then I'm just an old country boy.

We were taught to eat our bread or roll by tearing off tiny pieces at a time and buttering each piece one at a time before eating. Among other things, this prevents the spilling of bread crumbs on the table cloth or on the plate. I prefer cutting or tearing the roll in half and buttering both pieces before eating. I figure they're going to wash the tablecloth before using it again so why waste the time and energy.

The challenge of the entre course was learning to eat in the Continental style, using fork and knife at the same time. Our daughter picked up that style when she was in Europe. It slows me down too much.

We finally got to the dessert course and I was happy to learn that there weren't many new rules for dessert. I dug into the chocolate mousse with gusto and enjoyed the biscotti (Italian cookies) that were included. Biscotti are delicious but firm and crisp. Sure would have been nice to dunk it in my coffee. Fortunately for my manners, coffee hadn't been served yet.

All the etiquette stuff stretched out the evening. We started eating at 7:30 p.m. and weren't done until nearly 10 p.m. That's getting awfully close to my Friday night bedtime.

The truth is my wife and I really enjoyed the evening. We learned some new manners even how to fold and use a cloth napkin properly and are ready when the Obamas call.

The Rotary Club of Des Moines A.M. is not your grandfather's service club. I'm one of the old timers in the club and the younger members keep things lively. The "Dine Like a Diplomat" program was made possible by one of those younger members Ro Crosbie, founder and president of Tero International, which provides interpersonal skills training to the corporate world. Our "etiquette trainer" was Deborah Rinner, the company's director of international protocol and corporate etiquette programs.

These days it seems many good manners have gone the way of the 8-track tape. That's particularly unfortunate for the younger people who may be getting little or no guidance.

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas pointed out the value of etiquette when he said, "Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot."

(Arvid Huisman can be contacted at huismaniowa@msn.com. 2009 by Huisman Communications.)